Thursday, March 27, 2014
Priorities
A year ago, my daily routine began with a perusal of my favorite blogs. I usually spent 30-60 minutes reading and commenting on blogs. Then I'd spend a little time thinking about what I would write about in my blog that week. That routine changed when I went on retreat last summer. No reading or writing blogs for two months. When I returned, I had a lot of blog ideas - I planned to share some of my insights and experiences while on retreat. Shortly after I returned, my Dad was diagnosed with stage IV melanoma. Suddenly social media was not on the top of my priority list.
It's been a rough 6 months, for my Dad and for the family. I found myself feeling overwhelmed, depressed, fatigued. Honestly, I can just barely get through what I need to do for my workshops and classes. I don't seem to have the energy for much of anything.
Even before my Dad's illness, I was re-thinking where I wanted to go with my art and my life. Asking myself the big questions - what do I want to do with the rest of my life?, how do I want to live?, what is really important to me?, what contributions can I make to the world? I wish I had the answers, but that is an ongoing process.
As a result of this questioning, I realize that right now I just don't have the interest or energy to write regular blog entries. I felt it was important to share my thoughts rather than letting the blog lapse without that acknowledgement. So, this may well be my last blog post. . . Or at some point in the future I may have more energy and enthusiasm and pick up where I left off. Either way, I am grateful for the connections I've made through the blog. Thanks for being a part of my world!
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Be kind to yourself and rest. We will all be here if you choose to return. After tending my parents last year and the aftermath of Dad's passing, I found myself asking the same questions. When our own mortality hits us between the eyes, it is good to reflect on how we wish to spend our time. You will be missed from the blogosphere. Wishing you the best!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jeannie. Your words mean a lot. Wishing you the best, too!
DeleteAnd thank you, Lisa, for being such an inspiration to me. I have missed your thoughtful blog posts and hope that your journey brings you back at some point to sharing some of your thoughts about that journey with us again, but for now may you find the strength you need in this difficult time and the peace hidden within all these challenges.
DeleteBe with your family, rest and regenerate. Life is precious. If and when you feel blogging is the right thing, you will find an audience. Meanwhile, you and your family are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteLisa, I am so sorry to hear of the impetus, but I think the decision is sound. Life is precious & best spent on the things that nourish us & being with family & friends that we have deep relation to.
ReplyDeleteThank you for all the beautiful art & inspiration.
All the best to you.
Take care, and thank you for all you shared with us, much appreciated, now its time to keep your energy close by yourself.
ReplyDeleteI know this is coming rather late, but I have to share with you something quite similar to your life changing.
ReplyDeleteJust when you think your life couldn't get any worse, there's always someone walking a similar road.
Between being in a car accident at the beginnings on my own venture into Faux Work (which had really begun to open up immense possibilities)...my husband also decided to leave our relationship. No sooner had that happened, when I also discovered that my mother was showing signs of dementia. I had to make a decision to stay in Virginia, or move to NJ and take care of Family Matters. Well...it wasn't hard to make that decision. So from 2011 - I sold a good portion of my belongings, gave away almost half of them...and moved in with Mom. Well...it gets better. Mom is a hoarder. And very adamant about keeping all she has. I put what I had in storage, and managed to make room for myself in her home. Then two months after this, she got an infection and needed surgery on her artificial knee. THIS gave me two months to clear out a bedroom, while she went through Rehab in a Nursing Home...and I did what I could to paint and set up my bed. Up until this time I had been sleeping on her sofa for 3 months. (remember my car accident? I also had chronic pain from that)...and still take pain killers daily.
From 2011 to currently...I dealt with Nursing Homes, Medicaid, falling behind in my own financial stresses, and in September 2014...my Mom broke her hip in the nursing home and died a month later. I was crushed...because I did all I could to keep her in good care. Everything that was important to my life; got put on Hold...for close to five years.
From 2010 - I barely did anything creative - lost my business...lost my good credit...and am now just beginning to resurface from all this upheaval. Yes, it's hard - and you are not an exception. A lot of women in their 50's and 60's are having to give up what makes them happy - to take care of Family. I'm 64, separated, still trying to put the pieces together - and some days, It sucks!
But You have had more than many people could attain. And for that, you should be grateful. I'm barely making it on social security; and I'm a wonderful artist. I scrimp and save and use whatever I can to buy paints or fabric, or go to thrift stores to feed my need for creativity. And couldn't be happier inspite of all the setbacks.
I'll never be famous - but as long as I can breath and praise God for his strength....I am rich beyond many.
Just saying....don't give up. Be grateful and keep sharing... I wish I had a smidgeon of your success.
Juliana
Woodbine NJ (add to this - I'm stuck in this dinky town...and have no idea when I'm going to be able to sell this house and leave) Talk about Depression - I push myself each day to make it work and find the Sun in my life.
IF I can do it - so should you!