Monday, July 23, 2012

Artist . . .in Training?

A friend and I were talking about attending workshops and the feelings of insecurity that sometimes brings. She had just completed a workshop and was feeling that she didn't "measure up" to her classmates. I could relate to that.  I have experienced those feelings in a workshop setting - that my work was not as good (whatever that means!) as the others'.

When I first started working in textiles, I had recently quit my corporate job and didn't have money to attend workshops.  So I checked out every book my library had on dyeing and surface design.  I scoured the Dharma Trading website and catalog for information.  And I played.  When my financial situation improved and I was able to attend a few workshops, I often felt like a beginner.  I felt that my work was so amateurish compared to others in the class.  I doubted whether I really was an artist.

It was a long road to the place where I feel more secure in who I am and where I am.  (That doesn't mean I don't experience those feelings anymore - just not as much.) Why do we insist on comparing ourselves with others?  Each of us is on our own journey.  We start in different places and take different paths. We are continually learning and growing.  Each of us is an artist in training, going at our own pace.

6 comments:

  1. good question! I recently took a drawing and watercolor workshop - a huge first for me - and really felt insecure around others who had years of experience. The gal sitting to my right was an art teacher, and we were staying at the same B&B. After class, she shared with me that she was very insecure during the class. Her work was superb and I was shocked by her feelings! Do we ever get over it and feel comfortable in our own skins? I don't know!

    xo

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    1. I tend to think not. I know several people who have been at this much longer than I have, and who have achieved a lot. They still have moments of self-doubt. I guess we just have to recognize it and not let it paralyze us.

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  2. So true.......My saving grace is that I am so excited to learn, that I forget about everyone else!

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    1. Good for you! Staying focused in the moment is what it's all about.

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  3. Very well said! I always remind myself what actors and comedians say - if you don't have stage fright, there is something wrong. Once I left traditional quilting and ordered my first dyes, my confidence flew out the window. Whenever I doubt myself and think of going back to what is comfortable and "safe", I remind myself why I chose this path - for the challenge and growth. I recieved your book this weekend and it is fabulous!!! Thanks for a good read and hours upon hours of inspiration.

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    1. Congratulations for stepping out and trying something new. It is easy to stick with what we know and it can be difficult to be a beginner again.

      And thanks for your comments on the book. I'm glad you like it!

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