Crazy Makers

In Julia Cameron's book, The Artist's Way, she talks about crazy makers.  These are people who, for a variety of reasons, make you crazy.  They sap your energy, add to your self-doubts and generally make you miserable. I've known my share of crazy makers over the years, but I've recently begun to wonder if we are our own worst crazy makers.

A fellow artist was relating a story about a really exciting speaking opportunity that will give her work exposure to many fine art galleries nationwide. She was relating her story about the ups and downs of how it all came to be.  Along with that was the adult artist's version of the daisy petal game "He loves me, he loves me not." In relating her communications with the event organizer, she waffled back and forth between "They like my work, they hate my work."  During the "they hate my work" periods, she interpreted slow replies and other glitches as lack of interest in her work. Don't we all do that at times - project meaning or intention on another's actions based on our self doubts?

The same day that I heard her story, I had a discussion with another artist and my "he loves me not" voice kicked in. I found myself reading all kinds of negative things into the conversation.  When I got home I tried to figure out what was going on.  I realized that, based on my history with that person, she probably did not have mean intentions.  I just read something into her words that wasn't there. My insecurities came out and colored the way I heard her comments.

Have you ever experienced this?  How are you your own crazy maker?

The Artist's Way - All Finished

I have finally finished working through The Artist's Way, a book about unlocking your creativity, by Julia Cameron. It is a 12 week program, but I took a bit longer because I skipped a couple of weeks here and there. Overall, I would say it has been a worthwhile experience. I have been pretty faithful in writing my "morning pages", writing in a journal every morning. I haven't been good at taking artist "dates" - spending an hour each week on an outing doing something I enjoy. With the 100 degree weather we have been having, I did not feel like doing much this summer!

So, would I recommend this book to others? Yes and no. I think it really depends on the individual and where they are at in their journey. I had some philosophical differences with some of the activities, and some just seemed silly. I know Julia would say that just means I really need to do those activities. But I took the book the way I take most things - I take from it what I can and let go of the rest. And there was definitely something worth taking, for me. The morning pages have been a great way to get in touch with my inner guidance. They have also helped me work through some stressful situations that have come up over the past 3 months. The affirmations have been helpful - helping me realize that the way I think about myself has a lot to do with how others see me and with how life unfolds for me. And some of the exercises have opened up my awareness - to my procrastination, to ways in which I sabotage myself and to small things I can do to nurture my creativity.

In the book, Julia says it's working if you feel an urge to sort out, organize and de-clutter your life. If that's true, it must be working for me! I have been slowly working on getting my home studio organized and rearranged.I'm almost finished and will post before and after photos when it's done. Now if I could just get that enthusiasm for cleaning the rest of the house!

Who would I not recommend the book to? Someone who isn't committed to actually working through the exercises. I don't know if there is much value in just reading the book. To me, going through at least some of the exercises is the only way to get anything out of it.

So, what next for me? I plan to continue the morning pages, because I can't imagine starting my day without them now. And there are a few exercises that I want to go back and revisit. I still want to incorporate artist dates, but I'm thinking I'll start that next month (so my procrastinator says!)

A Week Without the Computer

Last week, as part of working through the Artist's Way, I decided to go without the computer. Actually I didn't go completely without, I limited myself to 30 minutes a day. I did it because I feel that it can be a big time waster. It's so easy to lose track of time surfing the internet. It was both easy and difficult. Here are my learnings:

• I often use the computer to procrastinate. It helps me avoid what really needs to be done.


• I am able to get most of my critical computer tasks done in a much shorter time than I thought.


• The world won't end if I don't open up all my email. I really don't need to look at all of those travel deals or store coupons. A lot of things I deleted without opening (don't worry - I didn't delete any from my friends and colleagues, mostly just marketing or group emails).


• By limiting my time on the computer, I was forced to spend time in my studio, working on other things. (I didn't fall into the trap of substituting the television or some other non-productive activity for my computer time.)

So, what did I do with my time? I actually got a lot done.

• I finished 2 projects that had been sitting in my studio for the past 6 months.


• I organized the stacks of papers and set up a filing system.


• I spent a day in the studio experimenting with new techniques.


• I indulged myself by eating breakfast and reading the morning paper on my front porch swing.


• I made a jingly toy for my cat.


• I mailed out two gifts that have been patiently waiting since last fall.

How will this change the way I use the computer in the future? I hope I will be more aware of the time I spend on the computer. I hope that I continue to limit the time wasters. And finally, I hope it will remind me to act with intention - asking "Is this really how I want to spend my time?"

The Artist's Way - Week Four: No Reading

A week without reading. That's what this week was supposed to be. I willfully chose to ignore that prescriptive.

I've been pretty faithfully following the book The Artist's way, by Julia Cameron for the past four weeks. The book is designed to unlock one's creativity. The idea is to read a chapter each week, and complete the accompanying exercises. Most of the exercises revolve around self-reflection - identifying ways in which you sabotage your creativity and self worth, identifying things you enjoy or have enjoyed doing in the past. Readers are encouraged to make time for themselves each week, to write in a journal, to do something fun by themselves, to create.

Julia's premise about not reading is that it takes away from other, more creative and enriching pursuits. I suppose that could be true, although I find the computer to be more of a potential time waster. The book was written in 1992, so I suppose the prevalence of computers in our lives has changed a lot since then. She might very well change that to a week without computers if she wrote the book today.

So, I have decided to spend 2 weeks on this chapter. Next week I will go with minimal computer time. Yes, yes, I'm sure I should go completely without, but instead I have decided to limit my computer time to 30 minutes a day. That means I won't have time to open up all those emails from yahoo groups, newsletters from vendors, and all the other stuff that clogs the inbox. The challenge is to limit email usage to meaningful communication. I typically spend several hours a day on the computer, so that should really free up some time. Now, what to do? I won't have any excuses not to clean and organize my studio, or to work on an art donation for a silent auction fundraiser. Oh dear, I may actually have to cook dinner!

So, do you think you could go for a week without a computer?

Japanese Tea Garden

For my first "artist date", I went to the Japanese Tea Garden in San Antonio. The garden was built in 1918 at an old stone quarry. The quarry was transformed to include walkways, stone arched bridges, an island, water areas and a stone pagoda. When it opened in 1918, it was filled with exotic plants, many from Japan. If you take a close look at the photo above, you will notice it says Chinese Sunken Garden. The name was changed after the Pearl Harbor attack in World War II. The name was changed back to the Japanese Tea Garden in 1984.

I had fond memories of the garden from my childhood, so when we moved to San Antonio four years ago, I brought my husband to see it. My excitement quickly turned to disappointment. It had become overgrown, filled with graffiti and the ponds were drained of their water. What I had remembered as a treasure was in a state of neglect.

The city conducted a renovation of the gardens in 2007 and this was the first time I had been since the renovation. It was beautiful! They really cleaned it up and planted a lot of native plants. The ponds were full of fish and turtles. I spent about an hour, walking the paths and enjoying the view. Below are some of the the highlights.

The pagoda

The remnants of the smokestack at the old quarry.

Morning Pages

Many people are familiar with the book, The Artist's Way, by Julia Cameron. I first learned about it a number of years ago when I was living in Chicago. The book focuses on freeing up your creativity, no matter what your art - painting, writing, music, cooking! I was very good about keeping morning pages and artist's dates for a long time. For those unfamiliar with the book, Julia recommends writing down 3 pages of stream of consciousness thinking first thing in the morning. She says that getting all that "stuff" out of your head clears the way for creativity. She also recommends making an artist "date" with yourself once a week. That is time to do something fun and spur your creativity. Chicago had lots of great places for artist "dates".

I fell off the wagon a few years ago, and haven't kept up with either. A friend of mine gave me a copy of The Artist's Way last summer and I finally pulled it out and decided to work through it again. (Yes, Diana, it has taken me this long to get to it! Everything in it's time.)

I must admit, it takes discipline to get back into the routine of morning pages, but I am committed to sticking with it for the next few months. It really isn't as hard as it sounds. You just sit and write whatever comes into your head, even if it's something like, "My cat just attacked my feet.", or "I don't really want to do this, but I said I would, so here I am." What I find is I spend most of the time writing about all the things I have to do. It almost becomes my to-do list for the day. I suppose that's not so bad - if I write it down, I don't have to worry about forgetting it.

I have also committed my Friday afternoons to artist dates. I'm teaching a class downtown on Friday mornings, so I decided I would use Friday afternoon to visit galleries, walk on the river, see the sights. I'll share some of my Friday experiences here.