In Julia Cameron's book, The Artist's Way, she talks about crazy makers. These are people who, for a variety of reasons, make you crazy. They sap your energy, add to your self-doubts and generally make you miserable. I've known my share of crazy makers over the years, but I've recently begun to wonder if we are our own worst crazy makers.
A fellow artist was relating a story about a really exciting speaking opportunity that will give her work exposure to many fine art galleries nationwide. She was relating her story about the ups and downs of how it all came to be. Along with that was the adult artist's version of the daisy petal game "He loves me, he loves me not." In relating her communications with the event organizer, she waffled back and forth between "They like my work, they hate my work." During the "they hate my work" periods, she interpreted slow replies and other glitches as lack of interest in her work. Don't we all do that at times - project meaning or intention on another's actions based on our self doubts?
The same day that I heard her story, I had a discussion with another artist and my "he loves me not" voice kicked in. I found myself reading all kinds of negative things into the conversation. When I got home I tried to figure out what was going on. I realized that, based on my history with that person, she probably did not have mean intentions. I just read something into her words that wasn't there. My insecurities came out and colored the way I heard her comments.
Have you ever experienced this? How are you your own crazy maker?